when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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