i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
