I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Buhtt sex?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
