One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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