i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
