I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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