do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
