ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
