I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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