i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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