Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
