I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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