You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
