Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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