just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
