I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
