Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
