Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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