a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
