So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
