We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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