On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
