She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
