Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
