susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Randomize
