Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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