these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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