Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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