OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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