He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
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