I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
