Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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