first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
