I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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