Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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