oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
