At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Randomize
