Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
