Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
