They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Even my vagina gasped.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
