So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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