please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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