don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
