No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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