Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
