Dual....:-)
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
This toilet bowl is my home.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
