She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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