I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
