I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
this hospital has no fireball
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
