Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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