I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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